I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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wolfhaleigh:

gallifrey-feels:

zzazu:

britney2007spears:

joebarborak:

thepurdypurdy:

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN LAST WEEK AT MY LOCAL KMART. YES, THAT IS A SEALED VHS TAPE OF JIMMY NEUTRON THE MOVIE, IN 2014, AT KMART, SITTING NEXT TO DVDS AND BLU-RAYS, PRICED AT $8.99 
To give perspective, this film was released on VHS in 2002 and has been sitting unopened in a Kmart store for 12 years, longer than children now in middle school. 
Plain proof that no one does inventory or gives a shit at any Kmart anywhere. Someone could probably live in Kmart and have no one notice. 

In 2001, I did an experiment for school about the idea of living in a big-box store like this. I selected a busy 24hr Meijer, which is a midwest-only combination of Marts both K and Wal. I entered the store on a lovely friday afternoon, and didn’t leave the store until the following sunday evening. I read the entire magazine section, played all of the demos of the games in the electronics section, and beat minesweeper on my phone innumerable times. I ate at the pizza parlour they’d just installed, and slept on the display furniture. I wandered around the racks during the day, bored out of my skull. I considered buying frozen burritos and asking one of the employees if they had a breakroom where I could microwave them, but that felt like it wouldn’t truly answer the question if someone could live in a Meijer; I’d be using resources that weren’t public.
The only time I was ever asked if I needed any help was on sunday morning around 8am, and then it was only waking me up to ask me if I was drunk and had wandered in that night and fell asleep on their displays. I said, “no, I’m fine, I’m just trying this futon.” and was left alone.
The people that work there really don’t care.

u lived in a k-mart

This is the most magical thing I’ve ever had the privilege of reading

you deserve a book deal and a movie just for the phrase ‘marts both k and wal’ 

but Meijer is though
wes-eskimo:


Venus, bussin that pussy open since the renaissance

allons-ygeronimofuckitybye:

mononocake:

314eater:

The hardcore way to eat ramen:
1. Boil water
2. Eat block of ramen
3. Drink boiled water
4. Snort flavored powder
5. Fuck bitches

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you looking for this my friend?

why is there a gif for this


blasianxbri:

intheshadowsff:

freshlyblogged:

:( :( :(

Annnddd I’m officially out for the count


😂
dredrefab1b:

hersheywrites:

belindapendragon:

soul-i-n-c-i-t-e-s:

crazy-4-breezy:

I just laughed so hard…crying…

Meanwhile, Uncle Earl is sitting there with no fucks, flummoxes or flabbergasts to give.

^^^LMAO…

This Was Too Funny To Not Reblog..

"Alright, alright. I’ll go…. YEET!"
acarnalmind:

I am so done….. SPLENDA DADDY…almost spit my Yac out…
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